Peace and/or Quiet

"Peace be with you," Phoebe says, as she always does at this part of the service. The congregation is supposed to respond, "And also with you," which they sometimes do, but often all she gets back are mumbles and coughs. This week, Deacon responds half-heartedly (and Stan snores), but Lucille whistles and shouts, "You go, girl!" Which pleases Phoebe tremendously.

"It's a mystery," Phoebe says. This is not what she had intended to say (she had intended: "It's a joy to be here"), but there it is, so on she goes.

"I mean, have you ever thought about what goes on your mind? Like...why do we do what we do? Why do we want what we want?" (She is thinking about Josephine here--something she knows she should not be thinking about--but the longing she's felt these past weeks everyday at the park, and the dawning realization of the futility of it all, just won't leave her, and it doesn't seem to be something she can keep quiet about.)

What She Knows For Sure

Phoebe begins the Sunday Service by playing a selection from one of the mixed tapes that came with a boom box she bought at a garage sale--which is where she met Deacon (he was purchasing the credenza she now uses for an altar). He'd tried to start an argument with her about the existence of Free Will (she was wearing her priest collar at the time), but mellowed out when she told him that the only thing she knew for sure was that there are some things that you just can't know for sure (and also that she had bought the collar from a costume store.)

This week she begins with the opening theme from Sound of Music (the one that's playing while Julie Andrews twirls around), because it feel hopeful and uplifting to her, even though she read an article once where they said that, in real life, the helicopter they used to shoot the scene was flying too low, and the turbulence it caused kept knocking poor Julie down.

When the music stops, she lights each of the candles that stand in the dozen or so cups and small bowls filled with rice that line the edge of the altar. (These are tea cups, mostly, and dessert bowls, but there are juice glasses, too, and maybe a couple of pickle jars.) Next, she takes the brass pitcher from under the altar (where God can usually be found sleeping) and waters the little pots of rosemary and oregano she's placed among the candles, then picks up a pebble from a pile in the center of the altar, kisses it, and places it in another pile right next to it.

She bows to the altar, then turns to face the congregation.

Phoebe Needs a New Plan

Phoebe has been trying to find a way to ask Josephine out, but hasn't had much luck because (1) Phoebe doesn't know Josephine's phone number, which is only part of the problem because Phoebe doesn't have a phone and (2) it's winter and it's been way too cold to hang around the Dog Park waiting for her to show up.

Phoebe really doesn't know that much about Josephine. She doesn't know where she lives, for example, or what she does for a living, or if she's involved with anyone else. She doesn't even know if she's gay or straight, but Phoebe figures these are all things they could talk about. Well, maybe not the gay or straight part. That's not the kind of topic you can just start up. But maybe you could, Phoebe thinks, once you've found some other things out.

Phoebe's plan was to bring a thermos of hot tea to the Dog Park, wait till Josephine complained about the cold (the weather is always a lively topic at the Dog Park), offer to pour her a cup, and then take it from there. But Phoebe's been lugging that thermos to the Park since Christmas, and so far, Josephine has eluded her.

Introducing Phoebe

Phoebe is a lesbian priest with a three-legged dog name God. She's tall and bosomy (a beauty once, now somewhat matronly) with dark blue eyes and close-cropped, salt-and-pepper hair. Her pale skin and contemplative nature can make her seem cold or standoffish, but she has a big heart and generous nature. Her last girlfriend, in tender moments, called her Peachy. 

She's come late in life to the priesthood--she hasn't actually been ordained, not in any official way--but she's felt the calling and figures that's good enough. The only church that will take her, however, can't pay. So she supports herself tending bar. The church isn't actually a church. There's a congregation, but they meet in an old movie theatre, which is fine with Phoebe because she gets to preach in front of an enormous velvet curtain, and all the parishioners get to bring their dogs. 

Plus, she gets to live in the theatre for free. She sleeps in the projection room (which she calls the "wrecktory") and cooks in the concession stand. There's a working sink and a mostly-working refrigerator, to which Phoebe has added a four-slice toaster and electric kettle, converting it--as far as Phoebe is concerned--to a fully functioning kitchen.

The ladies room is adequate for freshening up, but showering was problem until Phoebe discovered that a priest's collar can get you into the university's very up-scale gym--no questions asked.

Of course, there's no yard behind the theatre for God to run around in, which is why Phoebe spends so much time at the Dog Park. (That, plus the fact that Josephine can often be found there.)