Auntie Jan Gets All Juiced Up

I'm leaving tomorrow morning for another Creative Getaway with Cary Tennis and company on Tomales Bay in beautiful West Marin County...which is where I first got inspired to get back to my writing. I expect to get all juiced up again this time--on creativity, of course, since we are a decidedly non-boozing crowd.  

Naturally, Phoebe and friends will be with me, so check back sometime later next week for news on the on-going escapades.

In Summary

A nod and a wink to Stinky LuLu for requesting a summary of the current Dog Park state of affairs.

So far in our saga, we have the following Cast of Characters:

Phoebe -- our lesbian priest (unofficial) who ministers to a tiny flock at the All Saints Bijou Temple

God -- Phoebe's aging, three-legged Wolfhound, with a crooked tail and big ears

Josephine -- a member of the Dog Park, about whom we know little except that she is the object of Phoebe's desire

Coco -- Josephine's chocolate Lab, who displays an insatiable appetite for other dogs' poo

Zelda -- a former corporate executive and current Pet Psychic/Tarot Card Reader, with a checkered past and an undeclared crush on Phoebe

Punkin -- Zelda's lapdog, who was abandoned at a flea market and (according to Zelda) is an outspoken critic of the capitalist system

Song -- Zelda's former college roommate (back when Zelda's name was Miriam, and she slept with men), who is an artistic photographer, but supports herself making portraits of dogs 

Deacon -- a former head of the university's School of Divinity, who ran afoul of the Chancellor, and is now the owner of the theater which he has converted to the All Saints Bijou Temple 

Stan and Lucille -- former economics professors, who have eschewed the "corrupting hegemony of money", and now live in their car (which is currently parked in the lot behind the Bijou Temple)

Plot Summary:

Not much has happened so far, except that Phoebe has waited at the Dog Park for weeks (in the cold), hoping to run into Josephine, with the intention of asking her out, or at least establishing some kind of sympathetic connections (her plan was to offer to share the mug of hot tea she has carried with her daily for just such a purpose), but so far, Josephine has not appeared.

We now find Phoebe, in the midst of giving the weekly homily, drifting off into notions of loss and desire.  

 

Peace and/or Quiet

"Peace be with you," Phoebe says, as she always does at this part of the service. The congregation is supposed to respond, "And also with you," which they sometimes do, but often all she gets back are mumbles and coughs. This week, Deacon responds half-heartedly (and Stan snores), but Lucille whistles and shouts, "You go, girl!" Which pleases Phoebe tremendously.

"It's a mystery," Phoebe says. This is not what she had intended to say (she had intended: "It's a joy to be here"), but there it is, so on she goes.

"I mean, have you ever thought about what goes on your mind? Like...why do we do what we do? Why do we want what we want?" (She is thinking about Josephine here--something she knows she should not be thinking about--but the longing she's felt these past weeks everyday at the park, and the dawning realization of the futility of it all, just won't leave her, and it doesn't seem to be something she can keep quiet about.)

What She Knows For Sure

Phoebe begins the Sunday Service by playing a selection from one of the mixed tapes that came with a boom box she bought at a garage sale--which is where she met Deacon (he was purchasing the credenza she now uses for an altar). He'd tried to start an argument with her about the existence of Free Will (she was wearing her priest collar at the time), but mellowed out when she told him that the only thing she knew for sure was that there are some things that you just can't know for sure (and also that she had bought the collar from a costume store.)

This week she begins with the opening theme from Sound of Music (the one that's playing while Julie Andrews twirls around), because it feel hopeful and uplifting to her, even though she read an article once where they said that, in real life, the helicopter they used to shoot the scene was flying too low, and the turbulence it caused kept knocking poor Julie down.

When the music stops, she lights each of the candles that stand in the dozen or so cups and small bowls filled with rice that line the edge of the altar. (These are tea cups, mostly, and dessert bowls, but there are juice glasses, too, and maybe a couple of pickle jars.) Next, she takes the brass pitcher from under the altar (where God can usually be found sleeping) and waters the little pots of rosemary and oregano she's placed among the candles, then picks up a pebble from a pile in the center of the altar, kisses it, and places it in another pile right next to it.

She bows to the altar, then turns to face the congregation.

That Which Is Freely Given

The other two parishioners at the Bijou Temple are Stan and Lucille--also ex-university professors, who taught radical economic theory in the 60s but were denied tenure, and who then took a pledge to subvert the corrupting hegemony of capitalism by vowing to live entirely without money--to rely solely on that which is freely given--after which they moved into the basement of the library, where they gave public lectures and dramatic readings, until they were kicked out to make room for computers. They now live in their car, which is parked behind the Temple.

Phoebe passes a basket of apples and oranges (and condoms) to the congregation after the sermon, so Stan and Lucille are almost always there. Sometimes she fires up the popcorn machine too, which God appreciates, because people tend to spill their popcorn everywhere, and when they pet him, their hands are slick and flavored with salt.

All Saints Bijou Temple

Phoebe's mind is on Josephine as she stands at the front of the theatre and prepares to give this week's sermon. All Saints Bijou Temple is non-sectarian, so she has a lot of latitude when it comes to liturgy, but rambling meditations on issues of personal disappointment have, in the past, inspired certain members of the congregation to get up and walk out...so Phoebe is determined to stick to the sermon she has already prepared, which this week she has titled: "People Are A Mess." (Titles are an important part of Phoebe's community outreach, as she posts them weekly on the church/theatre marquee.)

There are only three parishioners in attendance this Sunday. One is the owner of the theatre, who likes to be called Deacon. Phoebe doesn't know this for certain, but she has been told that Deacon was once the head of the university's Divinity School, and that he got into some kind of dispute with the Chancellor (some say he seduced the Chancellor's daughter, other say he wouldn't give up his parking privileges), but whatever it was, the thing escalated until the two came to blows. The incident took place during a commencement ceremony, right after (some say before) Deacon gave the benediction. The police were called. Deacon's family had been significant contributors to the endowment fund, so lawyers became involved. In the end, no charges were filed, but the Chancellor left shortly thereafter to give a series of lectures on Antiquities in Mesopotamia, and Deacon retired, to take over his family's extensive chain of theaters.

Phoebe Needs a New Plan

Phoebe has been trying to find a way to ask Josephine out, but hasn't had much luck because (1) Phoebe doesn't know Josephine's phone number, which is only part of the problem because Phoebe doesn't have a phone and (2) it's winter and it's been way too cold to hang around the Dog Park waiting for her to show up.

Phoebe really doesn't know that much about Josephine. She doesn't know where she lives, for example, or what she does for a living, or if she's involved with anyone else. She doesn't even know if she's gay or straight, but Phoebe figures these are all things they could talk about. Well, maybe not the gay or straight part. That's not the kind of topic you can just start up. But maybe you could, Phoebe thinks, once you've found some other things out.

Phoebe's plan was to bring a thermos of hot tea to the Dog Park, wait till Josephine complained about the cold (the weather is always a lively topic at the Dog Park), offer to pour her a cup, and then take it from there. But Phoebe's been lugging that thermos to the Park since Christmas, and so far, Josephine has eluded her.

Behind Closed Doors

Zelda's friend, Song, is small and slim with thick black hair, high flat cheekbones and dark exotic eyes. She's half-Chinese--a heritage she tries to play up as much as possible by wearing heavy jade beads and round Mr. Moto glasses.

Song and Zelda were college roommates. (This was back before Zelda was Zelda...back when she was still known as Miriam, and studied finance, and slept with men.) Song was in art school. She majored in fashion design, and made elaborate costumes out of shower curtains and neckties that she found at the Goodwill, but she never really got the hang of construction, so she switched to photography, and she's done fairly well. (She just finished a series called "Behind Closed Doors," which are pictures of the inside of people's medicine cabinet mounted next to a picture of the inside of their refrigerator.) She has a gallery that shows her work a couple of times a year, but it doesn't really pay the bills. She did weddings for a while, but the endless sea of bridesmaid dresses finally got to her. So now she does portraits of dogs.